Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Randomize
