I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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