my text book just quoted the cookie monster
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
