her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Dignity is for republicans.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
