You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
