I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
