we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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