i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
she smelled like a LAN party
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
