LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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