he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I can't trust your balls anymore.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Randomize
