he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Randomize
