i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
