Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
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