Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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