Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
