She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Randomize
