so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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