vagina is talking i cant
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Houston, we have a squirter
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
