those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
