I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
