if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Randomize
