I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
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