You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Randomize
