whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
