I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
