we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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