waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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