C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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