I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
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