I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
