I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
