I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
