I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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