So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
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