I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Randomize
