Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
