just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
