considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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