if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
