I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
