I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
