I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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