So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
So vagazzling was a success
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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