I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
