Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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