I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Randomize
