Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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