i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
