Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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