i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
