There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
