I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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